I got Gracie a new toy today. Seemed fair. I got the BluRay of “Interstellar”, Liz got four banana/nut muffins (the only culinary delight left that doesn’t trash her stomach), and some people got paid..
I was out a bunch of the morning doing first-of-the-month stuff, was heading over to see my Brit buddy Thomas early afternoon, then take Gracie to the doggie park to unwind. We’ve been spending a lot of time in the yard the past week, but family stuff has to come first. But I was going to be gone quite a while, which tends to twitch up her energy level to warp drive, so …
… it’d be nice to get her a toy, a new toy to keep her busy while I’m out doing all sorts of things that were fun and exciting and seeing all sorts of friendly people and dogs who wanted to play with me, and all sorts of dogs I think I’ve seen there before (“Hey… don’t I know that asshole?”) and there was tall grass I could eat, and fresh piles I could check out and a water fountain I could slobber in …
all those things our dogs know we go out and do whenever we leave them in the house alone.
Got her this Nerf ball. Rubber on the outside, more dense than any of the Nerf footballs I’ve ever had. Inside of that was a nylon covered ball stuffed with whatever. Between the sizes of a baseball and softball. Would be easy for her to pick up, nice bright colors. Checked it out pretty well, seeing as how Gracie can take some serious chunks out of even the Pirelli-grade toys she’s had. Figured it would work.
I thought I got our baby a pretty neat toy. I was even looking forward to playing with it, tossing it for her so she could chase it, then stand there looking at it, then look at me, bark once to make sure I knew where she found it, then get distracted and go running after whatever it was leaving me to walk half-way across the park to pick it up, which was only fair ’cause I was the asshole who had it and threw it away to begin with.
She just went along with it till something better came up ’cause she loves me, wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings.
But Gracie did love that ball. Tossing it up in the air, pouncing at it. Barked at it a couple of times when it didn’t roll by itself. All sorts of fun.
Lasted about three minutes.
I was right about the outside part of the ball, that could still put up with some serious wear-and-tear, but I was almost right about its that nylon-covered ball. Kevlar would have been more effective.
Gracie disemboweled, or disemballed, the damn thing.
Took her three minutes.
Damn thing cost $7.00 which could easily have been spent on something frivolous as opposed to three minutes of excitement.
(Let’s see: sixty minutes divided by the three, gives you twenty, times seven dollars gives you…)
That sounds like it would be Vegas hooker rates.
Damn good thing she likes little sticks.
A bit of wood every now and then can keep that girl happy.
Wipe that smirk off you-
DAMN! you people have filthy minds.