5 comments on “My Christmas wish for those I thankfully don’t know

  1. It’s sickens me to hear stories like this. I try to avoid watching the news and will usually just scan through it on the internet. I can’t handle it anymore. It depresses me and since I became a mother that increased by 10000%. No one deserves to be abused physically, verbally or mentally. I don’t care what they did. In my opinion – if you physically want to hurt someone you are in a relationship with then you need to get the hell away from them. I will never comprehend why some women stay in those relationships. I was in one and thank God I got out of it. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you have to find a way. For yourself and for your children if you have any.
    Restraining Orders in my opinion are worthless. Unless you have a bodyguard or police officer with you 24/7 a piece of paper is not going to stop a crazy abusive person from coming near you.
    You don’t want to get me started on the justice system, Grand Jury, etc! How many are legitimately there wanting to “Protect and Serve” and how many are Crooked? Or both?
    That’s my two cents. 😉


    • Hey kid. I appreciate your reply and your thoughts on the matter. I ain’t here for the “Likes” nearly as much as I am for any and everyone else’s two cents.
      I spent a whole bunch of years with the District Attorney’s office and the Department of Child Support Services enforcing Court-ordered Child Support. I was part of the Creative (think “advanced”) Enforcement team. Did everything up to and including referring cases for Federal prosecution, clients facing serious prison terms and as much as six figures worth of fines.
      It would all start out with a finding of Contempt.
      Contempt of Court.
      Give you and example:
      let’s say some absentee parent had a Court order to pay $500.00 per month in support for their child(ren), and for the sake of some ludicrous hyperbole let’s say the terms of the order were just a wee bit specific.
      A) The amount was set as $500.00 per month;
      B) It was to be paid in person at the Child Support office;
      C) Payments were to be made on the first working Monday of each month at 3:07PM;
      D) Said payments were to be made in cash – $300.00 in twenties, $100.00 in tens, $50.00 in fives, $30.00 in singles, one roll of quarters, two of dimes wrapped in plastic rollers rather than paper;
      E) Client was to deliver said payment dressed in a chicken costume wearing a top hat.
      If the client made a payment but violated ANY of those thoroughly petty terms, they could be found guilty of Contempt of Court.
      Show up a day early in a tux with a cashier’s check from Wells Fargo of B of A?
      They could still be found guilty of Contempt of Court.
      We once had a gentleman here in California who was ordered to pay his Support to the Court of original jurisdiction in Wyoming. By Federal and State laws, he had to make those payments through our office in California, and he never missed one.
      Never. Missed. One.
      The Court in Wyoming sent us word that they wanted us to charge him with Contempt because he didn’t sent the payments to them directly.
      No shit.
      And when we refused, they threatened to file an action against us.
      THAT is how sacrosanct Court Orders are viewed by some.
      In a sense – a very ominous sense, if you ask me – it was not about the payment for the support of the child(ren) being received, it was about obeying the Judge’s instructions to the letter.
      A review date would be set in Court at the time of the finding of Contempt. Six months out, usually.
      If the parent made each and every payment according to the Contempt order, all was well. Matter would be dismissed.
      Realistically if a parent made payments of $400.00, $285.00, $320.00, $397.00, $.86 and $267.39 over that six months, they would often be found “in substantial compliance”. Matter would be dismissed. Maybe (as in MAY BE) continued for another six months.
      If, during those six months, a single payment was missed entirely, even two of them, or three …
      … we couldn’t do a single blessed thing because the matter was pending from the last action we took. We would have to wait for the next Court hearing. The review.
      I don’t nor won’t pretend to know exactly how it works with Restraining Orders. That was never a field of significant familiarity much less expertise of mine.
      What concerns me in such matters is the nature of it all:
      if some dickless bully subject to a Restraining Order decides to kick open the door to his ex’s duplex and start screaming at her to get the Court to leave him alone or she’s going to pay for it …
      does that threat in and of itself take a back seat to the obvious violation of the Order? Which is more important? The threat made to this battered woman or ignoring what some clown in a robe told him to do?
      There is a difference there.
      Restraining Order in place, and while the douchebag never calls the lady up, never leaves notes under her windshield wiper, never approaches within five hundred feet of her at their child’s soccer game …
      … but slowly drives by her house each evening on his way home from work, doing 5MPH and revving the engine a couple of dozen times …
      … would that be “Substantial Compliance”?
      It could be terrifying for the woman. It could be frightening for the child(ren) involved. It could be profoundly disturbing for anyone who cares about the woman.
      But if there’s no blood or the smell of gunpowder or a rock through a bedroom window, what?
      It doesn’t count?
      I don’t know. Never had to deal with stuff like that directly, either professionally or personally.
      The Courts need to enforce a policy of Zero Tolerance. ANY further intrusive actions, be they harassing or intimidating or just plain rude in nature and – no questions asked – the Courts take it right to the next level. Take the guy (or the lady, for that matter) into custody, into Court in handcuffs and determine the sentence right on the spot.
      No questions, no arguments, no further reviews.
      First time results in County jail, modest while uncomfortable fines.
      Second time, State prison and years worth of damages to be paid.

      And that, my dear, is my two dollars on the matter.

      Thanks again for your feedback.


      Liked by 1 person

      • Agreed. If these idiots knew there was absolutely no way they could get away with these crimes I bet we would have a lot less of these types of crimes happening. But…somehow, some way a lot of them get away with the horrible things they do so they just keep on doing it as do others. I don’t know why it’s so difficult. You kill someone out of cold blood. You go to jail or worse. If you abuse someone, you serve time in jail. Etc…
        I went through a horrible experience involving a family member. The DA/Grand Jury were worthless. We got screwed over and lied to. We’re positive something crooked was happening behind the scenes. It’s sickening. Meanwhile there is someone out there walking free for something he did to two people. Meanwhile my family and I did not get to have the closure we needed because justice was not served. The Justice system did not do their job. 😦


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