Our son has brought up to me more than several times that most of my friends are younger than me.
My best friend is the same age as my son.
Part of it might be from my belief that all of us have the same thoughts and feelings that alternately exhilarate us and haunt us. No matter what our backgrounds, experiences or ages, we’re not that much different from one another.
Another large – maybe even larger – part of if was having lost my Uncle Ben, my Mom and my Dad within five years starting when I was fourteen.
After that, I was surrounded by well-meaning adults who never really advised me how I could handle situations…
… they just told me what to do, forgetting or ignoring that I was not their child.
And I was most assuredly not them.
None of us are that much alike that we reach all the same answers to all the same questions.
I would have responded to advice much more willingly than I ignored edicts.
The word “could” implies that I have a choice in the matter; the word “should” indicates the decision lies outside of me.
And I’m really not the type to offer advice. I’m really not the type you would want offering advice is many ways, or in any ways whatsoever in certain matters.
I’d just rather swap stories.
If my stories hold any meaning for someone else, strike a familiar chord, or offer any significant amount of empathy or comfort – or maybe even a bit of actual knowledge gleaned – I’ll consider the effort extremely worthwhile.
Metaphors can often be more digestible than instructions, no matter how well meaning those instructions, that advice might be. The conclusions one might reach from the stories are the ones they reach themselves: I don’t try to lead them one way or the other. I just tell them how it worked out for me.
The reader or listener thinks it, I don’t have to say it, and they are the one who has to figure out if it will work for them.
If it doesn’t they’re one step closer to finding out what will.
My friend Dede, in her mid-thirties, has heard so many of my stories in The Smoking Section down at work.
Got to where she took to calling me “Pops”.
I never considered it to be a reference to age.
It just warmed my heart.
Raising poultry and angora rabbits in California
Proving the existence of the extraordinary
One day at a time...
Musings about living with depression and anxiety
perspective on the spectrum
Photography, fiction, humor, opinions, and whatever else I feel like posting
Life with borderline personality disorder + mental illness
Hey, Nice to meet all of you, my name is Heather. I have BPD. I am here to share my everyday struggles with you, be a support for you, and I am here to chat with you if you want to chat...:)
Our Children Are Sacred
~ Short Stories, Flights of Fancy and Everyday Anecdotes ~
I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that's not on the map. A real adventure.
The Calm Side of Me
single dads, single moms, raising kids & much more