6 comments on ““You” is always the one who’s supposed to change

  1. hey Orphan, when I was maybe about 19 or 20 my Dad revealed some thoughts he was having at the time. I guess he was just in one of those reflective moods. he had said ” you know, in my mind I’m still 18 years old. I feel older in my body of course but in my mind and the way I think about myself I’m still 18″ At the time I didn’t know if he was just trying to relate to me and have me feel closer to him or was giving me a lesson. Over the years I have thought about that short conversation. I’m older now than he was then but I get it. I’ve told my son this story also ‘ in my mind I’m still about 18 years old’. Peace, Dohn


    • You know, Dohn, I think it goes beyond just our minds. Honestly, I don’t know that I’d like to be thinking the same way I did back when I was 18. While my beliefs were very much the same way back then as they are now, the thoughts that they had nurtured in me, so to speak, ended up in Federal charges.
      Long story short, a very well known radical (one of the Chicago 7) was coming to our college as part of the Campus Lecture Series. Our frat sponsored a welcoming dinner for him, put him up for the night, and arranged for his transportation.
      Shit hit the fan that night, and next thing you know eleven of us students had charges pending on “Conspiracy to Cross State Lines With Intent in Incite Riot”, et al.
      Next morning, while we were waiting for Bill Kuntsler (the lead Defense Counsel in the Chicago trial) to show up for our esteemed guest, the eleven of us students got the benefit of a County Public Defender in this small, upper New York State county, passed the Bar three years earlier.
      Shaved one every two weeks whether he needed to or not.
      While we’re all waiting in the hallway, I mentioned something to a few of the other students:
      “Not sure what the fuck is going on here, but WE weren’t the ones who invited Abbie here. The Lecture Series Committee did.”
      The Committee consisted of each of the Deans of the school and each Department Head.
      “The Administration did. So, where’s Dean (I-forget-his-name)?”
      I guess the PD picked up on that, went quickly into the Courtroom and talked with the local Prosecutor and the State Assistant Attorney,
      PD comes back out, tells us the County would talk the Feds into dropping the Conspiracy charges if we pled to Disorderly Persons and Criminal Mayhem.Formal probation for the rest of our studies,
      By the time Kuntsler leaves town, we plead No Contest to “Rowdy Hippies” or something, Informal probation and we leave the school for the rest of the semester, complete our work through the mail.
      That actually was the short version of the story.

      I look back at it, and I would do it all again.
      Whatever beliefs I had by then, whatever values I had established along with the beliefs, whatever core around which I wrapped my soul essentially told me what to think.
      My heart today drives me in the same direction it did back then. I could see taking every step I took that night all over again under similar circumstances, however …
      this time around I think I’d go in and tell the fuckin’ Prosecutor myself.
      Know what I mean?

      Good hearing from you, Dohn.
      109 degrees yesterday up in Sacramento.
      Hope Mother Nature has been better to you.



      • Ha Ha ‘Steal this Book’. I remember those days very well. Things have turned around quite a bit – look who the anti-establishment reactionaries are now (and much more dangerous).

        Seldom see more than the mid 80s in this climate. Peace, Dohn


  2. Pingback: “You” Deux | Nocturnal Admissions

  3. I just saw this. I am happy that through my blogs and our conversations, this post came about. Life is so hard, but it is good to hear how successful your marriage has been, even through the things you both deal with individually. I often feel that I am hopeless in relationships and stupid for ever thinking or fantasizing that I could have a long lasting one; especially one that lasts 40+ years. I never believe someone could love me that long.

    Anyway…thank you for sharing, and thank you for being there for me. I appreciate you 🙂 I also very much enjoy hearing about your wife. I feel like I know her. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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