This is what happens when certain unenlightened cretins buy hollow Chocolate Bunnies for their kids.
They’re HOLLOW. It’s bound to be a let down, a disappointment, even an insult.
Get your taste buds and salivary glands all worked up over a mouthful of hard, solid, delicious milk or dark chocolate, only to take a quick bite or two and realize you’ve barely got enough
to fill even a cavity?!??!??!?!!
You just as well could have bought them some leftover Channukah gelt at some Dollar Tree down there over the Kosher side of the tracks.
Hopefully none of you pulled this cheap stunt off on two little kids, or even one, whom you profess to hold closed to your hearts, with whom you even spent the holiday.
If so, it’s too late for you this year,
but you will have the chance for true penitence, God willing, this time next year, just keeping in mind, of course, the long term effect of your frugality and inconsideration could have left this / these child(ren) scarred for the rest of their lives … or their mid-twenties at least.
I can barely dredge up many if any such memories, seeing as how our family was not so keen on loading me up with even more goodies already during Passover:
flat, quite possibly stale bread; bitter herbs; salt water.
To offer you a glimpse into the horrors (okay, maybe just “whining”, but it still lasts nonetheless) of teasing a child in such a manner,
I offer you the following:
Read it, weep and atone for your lousy, cheapskate-ass trickery.
There are more girls out there like Katie who need closure.
Only you can help.
You only have to wait barely a year to right your wrongs.
Katie will have to carry these memories for three-hundred sixty-five days.
And multiply that by the amount of times she sees a piece of chocolate through any given day.
Christmas marketing in the stores and in the media should be especially difficult and trying.
And there’s likely a Katie in your life.
You don’t need a holiday to ask for her forgiveness,
or to show her you care,
and for God’s sake don’t head over to CVS tomorrow to score big on the leftover Easter stuff.
It wouldn’t be enough to shit on the floor, you’d have to rub their faces in it?
Only the richest, most decadent chocolate can ease the pain.
No matter the age of the Katie in your life,
consider the inner child,
Danny Thomas would want you to.